Reliability and Authenticity
When you make a promise that can't be kept, then the person who made the promise finds themselves in a difficult position.
That is when they try to strategize and even lie in order to persuade whomever they made the promise to, that there were extenuating circumstances. Instead, donâ€™t ever make promises, period. Common sense tells us that even if everything is in place, life happens. Idealism is great for ideas and creativity, but if concrete practices are not in place, then people can be hurt and trust in their mind becomes suspect. Some never learn from their mistakes, others may, but confidence in that person may take years before it is re-established; especially if the one who is wronged is wise and will not allow themselves to be duped again. Common sense and integrity isnâ€™t altogether gone, but having enough integrity to make deals with a hand shake, is long gone. It is so unfortunate that we, as a people, have come to this. Can we ever take a man or woman at their word? Just look at the political ads in this last election where words were twisted and manipulated for political gain. The candidates, including the President of the United States, taught that being a liar is a standard practice if It's just politics.
My husband, wisely said this, what you allow, is what you teach. Think about those words, what they mean visually and then maybe alight will come on and we will realize that â€œThe world is a stage, but the play is badly cast,â€ Oscar Wilde; and that no man or woman is an Island unto themselves.
All mankind is of one author, and is one volume; when one man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but translated into a better language; and every chapter must be so translated...As therefore the bell that rings to a sermon, calls not upon the preacher only, but upon the congregation to come: so this bell calls us all: but how much more me, who am brought so near the door by this sickness....No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were. Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.
John Donne, Meditation XVII from Devotions Upon Emergent Occasions
So if we would say every day, integrity is what matters, promises may not be kept because of lifeâ€™s circumstances, so never make a promise, just live the promise. Our lives would be transformed. Love is a verb, a decision, all powerful, enduring and trumps all that is sinister. Never manipulate for self gain, it will come back and bite you badly.
Beverly J Raffaele